One year ago!

All of this happened last January, so please don't freak out and think this is all new!!  The reason I am writing about it is for a couple of reasons.

#1. It is one of those moments that I will never forget!

and

#2. I learned so much about feeling, understanding and listening to the spirit and I feel the need to remind myself of those experiences!

~~~~About a year ago (possibly this week)~~~~~

It was the night before and I could not sleep.  I was up all night long with this sickening feeling inside my stomach.  I spent the night on the couch and couldn't quite figure out what was going on.  As the night went on I knew that it had to do with the hubby going snowmobiling the next day.

Now it is important to understand that anytime I bring up to the hubby not to go snowmobiling, it is completely thrown out the window before anything else can be said.  It is simply not a subject that is allowed in our home.  If he wants to go sledding he is going to go sledding. period. end of story!

So I knew if I brought it up in the morning that I didn't feel good about him going, that it wouldn't be listened to.  But with the feeling that I was having I knew I had to say something.

The next morning after a being up all night, I asked Eric if he "had" to go snowmobiling that day.  Of course, he answered the way that I expected.  I waited a while and said "maybe you could just stay home today go snowmobiling another day".  Again the answer was the same.

As I made breakfast that morning the feeling didn't go away.  In fact it seemed to get worse. I knew that something was going to happen that day.  As Eric walked out the door I told him to please be careful.  He said "I will, it will be ok."  And then the door closed.  Tears came to my eyes and I knew that today was going to change someones life.    

I walked into my bathroom and cried for a while because I felt so helpless.  I kept thinking.  'Heavenly Father, why are you giving me these feelings if it doesn't do any good, anyway?'

I finally pulled myself together and decided that the only thing left to do was to pray.  I knelt by my bed to pray and cried to Heavenly Father to protect my hubby and those he was with.  I kept that prayer in my heart all day.  Eventually I decided that it would do me no good to mope around the house all day.  So I tried to cheer up and get done what I needed to.

The day went pretty well and I did ok with keeping my yucky feelings under control.

I was washing dishes at about 3:30 that afternoon and thinking of other things when immediately that feeling came back.  It was so strong and so clear that I knew that something had happened!!  I actually felt like someone had walked in the back door behind me.  I turned around to see who it was and no one was there. Tears came to my eyes again and I felt so sick.  I wanted to call Eric but knew that if he was on the mountain  his phone wouldn't work and if something had happened it wouldn't do any good anyway.

I paced that house and tried to stay calm.  I waited for the phone to ring.  It didn't.  Every noise I jumped.

We had planned to take the kiddos up to Pizza Hut that night for dinner and I thought, I can't freak the kids out.  I don't want them to feel the yucky feeling that I am feeling.  I decided that if I hadn't heard anything by 5ish that I would try to call Eric (normally when they go snowmobiling he doesn't get home until around 6 or 7 and sometimes later).  If he didn't answer then I would take the kids to Pizza Hut and hope that it was all just me being crazy.

So at about 5:30 I tried Eric's phone. He answered!!!

I felt a huge rush of relief and tried to act calm.  "Oh, I didn't think you would answer.  How are you?"

"Ummm....I'm good"

"Oh, good!  So what are you doing?"

"Ummm...I'm headed to Afton."

"Really, why?"

"Uh, well, we had a little accident today. I am taking Todd up to the hospital to make sure everything is ok"

"Uh-oh, what happened?"

"Umm...he was in a little avalanche today."

By now my heart is going a hundred miles an hour.  I knew it!!  I knew something was going to happen!!

"Is he ok?"

"Ya, I think so.  Can you bring me a change of clothes and meet me at the hospital?"

"Sure, I will be there in just a bit.  I love you!"

"Love you too.  Bye."

After I hung up the phone I was feeling a mix of relief and anger.  I was so mad that I couldn't have prevented this and that I was the one who was "warned" that something was going to happen.  Why not him, why not Todd, why not some of the others that where with him?  And I was feeling relief because it all turned out ok.  From the sound of Eric's voice it wasn't too bad and everyone was doing good.

I grabbed what I needed and we hurried out the door.  When I got to the hospital I left the kids in the car because I wasn't sure what was going to be happening with Todd and I didn't think that they would have be allowed in the ER anyway.  When I walked into the ER Todd was sitting on the bed, looking really good and his amazing wife Sandy (who had lost her first husband to an avalanche about 3 or 4 years earlier that same week) was there with her mom and Eric.  After talking to them for a little bit I realized that Todd was really beat up and that he was coughing up blood.  They were going to keep him there and make sure that everything was ok on the inside.

I was slowly realizing that things weren't as "good" as Eric made them sound but no one was talking about what really happened. I decided to ask them if the avalanche happened around 3:30.  They both looked at each other and said yes.  I told them that I knew that it had but that was all that I said.  After a little bit Eric and I decided to leave. As we were leaving and telling everyone goodbye, Todd grabbed Eric's hand and began to cry and said "Thank you!"  I will never forget the look on both of there faces.  It was then that I knew that the whole experience was a lot more than I was finding out right then.

We went to Pizza Hut which looking back now seems so strange.  Eric didn't say much or eat much for that matter.  And then we headed home.

It was later that night that I found out more about what happened but it wasn't until a few days later that the whole story came out.

~~This is the story that I know (I am sure that there are parts that are different but this is what I was told)~~
Eric, Todd, Darren and Bill were sledding (aka snowmobiling) on a hill.  The top of the hill was bare but the lower part of it had a bunch of trees.  Knowing that the avalanche conditions were high they decided to stay down in the trees.  Eric was leading the way with Todd, Darren and Bill following.  Eric was driving along and for unknown reasons got stuck on a tiny little tree that was poking out of the snow.  It stopped him and he had to get off the sled to try to get unstuck from this "dumb little tree".  Finally he got unstuck and drove down the hill to wait for the others.  Thinking it was strange that they weren't right behind him he turned around and drove back.  When he found them Bill was digging Darren out of the snow from the waist down and yelling at Eric to FIND TODD!!  

Not even knowing where to start he turned on his beacon and started searching.  Bill and Darren still had there beacons on so he was really struggling to find Todd.  Eric started probing for Todd and finally, when they got Darren unstuck they turned their beacons off and Bill did the searching while Eric did the probing (poking long sticks in the snow looking for something hard) Finally they thought that they had found him and started digging.  He was about 3 feet down and the first thing they found was his backpack.  Realizing that he was face down they started digging sideways trying to find his face.  But as they were digging they realized that they were digging out his feet instead of his head.  So they began digging the other direction.  When they found his helmet Eric grabbed it and turned it to the side to try to get Todd some air.  The other guys were digging out the rest of his body and they all began to pull him out of the hole.

Eric said that when they pulled him out of the snow he was a grayish purple color and that if he didn't know that it was Todd he would have never guessed.  He looked terrible, and didn't even look like himself.  They were just getting ready to do CPR when Eric noticed that he was breathing on his own, barely.

After about 10 minutes he started to get some color into his face and a while later was finally coming around.

In the meantime the guys were digging out his snowmobile and also Darren's snowmobile that had also been buried. Can you imagine how exhausted they must have been?

When Todd started to cough up blood but was well enough to get on his sled they headed out.

After they got to the trucks Eric decided to take Todd to the hospital and the other guys headed home.  It was just a little bit after that that I called Eric.

I still don't know why I was warned that something was going to happen and they weren't.  I was mentioning it to a friend of mine and I love what she said:  "Maybe they weren't in tune enough to hear it.  Or maybe they did hear it but wouldn't listen. And maybe it was just supposed to be a learning experience for you on what promptings feel like.  But, what would have happened if Eric had listened to you and not gone that day?"

So If Eric had listened to me who knows what would have happened!

Either way I am so grateful that everything turned out ok.  And I am very grateful for a Heavenly Father who knows us and is there for us.  He listens to our prayers we say out loud and knows the prayers in our hearts.  He is there to "stop" us when we need to (by putting a "dumb little tree" in our way) so that we can help others.  If Eric hadn't got stuck on that little tree and turned back around I don't believe that they would have been able to get Todd out soon enough.  We are constantly given blessings from our Father in Heaven, most of which we don't even realize that they are "blessings".  Sometimes we see them a trials or difficulties but he is very involved in our everyday lives and truly does know us and our needs.